As you grow more distant from your spouse, strange thoughts enter your mind.  Your partner is no longer meeting your needs, and you become depressed, distant, alone, and get overwhelmed with the feeling of insignificance.  You need to feel better about yourself, and you meet someone who begins to give you everything your spouse isn’t.  You get excited, become emotionally connected, and for the first time, the thought of affair crosses your mind.  How do you stop yourself from cheating on your spouse?

Unfortunately, this scenario is all too common.  The reasons vary, but I think the greatest reason is the point and click world in which we live.  There is immediate response to everything we do.  We no longer have to wait for anything to come to us.  The internet has connected us in ways we never imagined.  All of this speed and instant gratification is carrying over to our relationships.

Communication is nearly non-existent.  We are becoming increasingly distant.  We don’t know how to share our emotions and fear keeps us from trying.  We aren’t sure how our partner will react.  It’s too easy to change.  It’s too easy for them to leave us if we upset them.  But what’s worse?  Them leaving because we are unhappy, or us being unhappy and dealing with it?

If you find yourself considering having an affair, I strongly caution you.  There is a lot at stake.  Consider your reasoning.  If it is because you are not having certain needs met, physically or emotionally, I suggest you first stress these needs to your partner and offer suggestions on how to meet them.

This may come as a surprise to you, but most of the time your partner doesn’t know what you are thinking or feeling.  We like to assume that they do, but that’s not reality.  Even when you think you are letting them know how you feel, there is a good chance you aren’t being specific.

Don’t be afraid to share your feelings, but don’t be hurtful either.  Make sure you tell them how you feel as well as what made you feel that way.  If you feel like they aren’t paying attention to you, tell them.  Don’t say “Why don’t you pay attention to me anymore?” Say something like “I feel like we’re growing apart.  The distance between us makes me feel really alone, and I want to be close to you again.”

You can’t come at it with by starting out saying “We need to talk”.  This immediately puts people on the defensive, and the chance of getting through to them lessens.  Also, when you do feel appreciated, wanted and loved, make sure you let them know what they are doing and how it makes you feel.  This will help realize the good things they do.  When they see your reaction, they will want to continue to please you.

If you’re thinking about having an affair, make sure you stop and consider the consequences.  Is your relationship worth losing?  If it’s not, then your marriage is worth saving!  So have that talk with your partner.  Let them know you love them and want to be with them.  Let them know how things can get better.  Let them know how important they are to you.  Don’t cheat on your spouse.  Rebuild your marriage!

Similar Posts:

• Stop An Affair: How Can You Do It?
• How To Survive Emotional Infidelity in Marriage
• Getting a Better Understanding About the Types of Affairs
• A Quick Guide To Getting Over An Affair
• Types Of Affairs

Be Sociable, Share!

•