I did something terrible?

In a word, YES – your relationship can still be saved even if you did something terrible. Unless you pointed a gun to your ex or shouted profanity at her down to her great grandmother, then you’d better ask something else than if your relationship can be saved. I’ve seen and helped people rebuild their relationships – that includes a friend of mine who was left by his wife for someone richer, younger, and better looking! Now before you rush off and do your moves, here’s a word of warning:

Forget about what you see in the movies and reality TV shows! Don’t even think about Kneeling and begging for forgiveness, bombarding your ex with text messages or filling her inbox with the same “I love you” e-mails. There’s no director that shouts “Cut!” and gives you a second, third, or fourth take when things don’t go as planned. These stunts aren’t the answer to the “can my relationship be saved?” question.

When you’re faced with a breakup, you’re filled with intense and very negative emotions. They make the situation more confusing! You’d sure go ballistic and end up doing the things I advised you stay away from if you don’t take proper action.

The first step in making up to your love partner is clearing yourself of these feelings. How? Give you and your ex some time and breathing space – that means accepting the breakup for now. The time you’ll spend alone is crucial if ever you’re going to get his or her heart back. During these hours, let it all out – the resentment, the pain, the anger, etc.

Cry if you have to. If you can cry it out with your friends, all the better. That would provide you with a supportive environment that need the most during these gloomy hours. Understanding why they left you is the next step to making up. Ask yourself questions like: Is it my clinginess, my indifference that shooed my ex away? Or have I become too repetitive and droning in our relationship?

Don’t make excuses or reasons; critically and objectively answer those questions.

The final step is to change that attitude or that personality of yours that drove your ex away. And you better make sure that these changes are something you can keep. Otherwise, you’d only be setting you and your ex for a stinging disappointment and a more painful breakup. This time it may be impossible for you to save it. That plan I’ve given you above may sound too common or too simple. But that very same action plan has saved a lot of relationships and marriages – including mine.

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