The majority of couples who get divorced do so because they have lost that loving feeling for each other. They cannot remember what it was that attracted them to their spouse in the first place. So much tension has built up that those romantic early days leading up to the marriage are no longer a reality.

One of the ways to ease tension in a marriage is to consciously recall the romantic and positive memories of the spouse. What drew you to him or her in the first place? If you had to make a list of qualities that stood out about your spouse, what are they? Can you see a glimmer of those same qualities in your significant other today?

Often, looking at the positive qualities in your spouse will help to put things in perspective. When the focus is always on being right and placing blame, tensions build. If your goal is to save the marriage, you will want to opt for unity over being right. This may be difficult if your husband or wife is not following this same advice You do not want to feel abused or neglected. However, it is important to know that people sometimes act on negative thoughts and emotions because they are not feeling loved. Sometimes showing love has a transforming effect.

If the conflict in the marriage has become so difficult that stopping your divorce seems impossible, you might consider going either alone or as a couple to a professional counselor. These skilled individuals can see things that you or your spouse may not be able to pinpoint. Having the help of a professional and objective person may go a long way in keeping you together.

If you are having problems and are considering divorce, make sure to try to find alternatives that promote fixing the problems via open and truthful communication or marriage counseling. This is preferable over the pain and effort involved in divorcing your spouse.

When others hear that you are having marriage trouble, many couples get unsolicited advice from friends and coworkers that they really dont want. Divorce to others can be seen as a quick fix when in truth it can simply add to your problems rather than fixing them. While you appreciate the support and advice offered by your friends, keep in mind that this is your marriage, not theirs.

By looking at statistics, 80 percent of surveyed couples who at one time considered divorce and subsequently decided not to go through with it claimed to be happily married years later. This can be explained by two possible outcomes. The first is that the couples who previously were considering divorce decided to deal with their problems directly. In doing so, it not only acknowledged their problems but it may have resulted in their finding effective solutions that saved their marriage.

The second is that when divorce was considered that it can change the entire dynamic of a relationship. For some couples this could be a positive thing or it could be detrimental to others. If a problem develops, those considering a divorce could see this as a way out without ever dealing with the issue directly. If these problems grow or the issues faced become more divisive, the option of divorce can be seen as an easy out and therefore become very appealing.

However, those who did not consider a divorce may find some success. They are forced to deal with their problems, and possibly find a constructive solution and common ground. Although this can be hard work and is not as easy as a divorce appears to be in fixing problems, working together and facing issues can be much more rewarding.

Marriage is a team of two players. When both players are actively working towards solutions to their problems and remove divorce as an option, resolutions can be found for their differences. This will strengthen their marriage as you will be working towards something better rather than looking for a way to cut your losses and run.

If you remove divorce as an option and resolve to work through your differences, you can make your marriage work.  It will give you the motivation to work to improve your relationship through understanding and communication. By listening to each other and finding ways to compromise that benefit the both of you; you can build a marriage that will last for years to come.

Even if your marriage started with a very simple wedding or a grand celebration of love, living your life with the person you love is one of the most wonderful things in life.

However, there are challenges that come with married life. Keeping the relationship happy and exciting has become a major challenge with married couples. Most often, marriage comes to a point of dullness, misunderstandings and conflicts, and worst, infidelity. Especially if there are growing responsibilities like having children, there may be major changes in the relationship that you might need to adjust to.

Although a man and a woman differ largely on their point of views, there are of course, ways to make their relationships happy and fulfilling, and this shows in happy marriages and marriages that work, of course.

Below are some things that might help in making your relationships happy. These may not necessarily be the only keys to a happy marriage but it might help in your quest to make the marriage work.

* Communicate. It is always first in the list when it comes to knowing the keys to a happy marriage, and even in almost any relationships too. As earlier mentioned, men and women look at things differently so one major thing that connects them to what one likes or not is to tell each other. Share your thoughts, your problems, the things that bother you, and share your dreams as well. You are in the marriage because you want to share your life with that person, so tell your spouse, and share it with her.

* Face the reality that you are not marrying a perfect person. You do not have to change the person to somebody you want. Accepting each other’s flaws and shortcomings is one challenge in marriage. Think that neither of you are perfect, so if his flaws in judgment annoy you, think about how your spouse understands your flaws as well.

* Trust is a major foundation in marriage. Spouses cheating on their partners are often common reasons for divorce and unhappy marriages. Once your partner loses trust in you, things may never be the same for both of you. Do not give your spouse any reason to doubt you.

* Be careful with your words. Harsh words can be too powerful to destroy a marriage.

Even if you are angry, have the habit not to insult or curse your partner. It is normal to get angry or throw your temper at times, your partner may understand that, but if you add it with harsh words, it may stay and create a gap in the future.

* Spend time with your partner. Not because you are living under the same roof you would think there is no need to go out with your partner and have a good time together. Maintaining that friendship with your spouse is one key to keep your bond tighter. Lack of time for each other can be the start of a dwindling relationship.

These are just some of the keys to a happy marriage. If you learn to understand your spouse in every way, indeed you will find true happiness in marriage.

Carolyn Anderson is a freelance author who is also a fan of marriage self-help books. For tips on making happy relationships, check out

http://www.dp-db.com/50-secrets-of-blissful-relationships. Also check out

http://www.dp-db.com/keep-your-marriage, where you can find ways to strengthen your marriage.

1) Do something about it. Take the initiative. Do something about your marriage.
Ultimately, this is your marriage and you are responsible for maintaining and
nurturing it. If you do not make this effort to take care of your marriage, no one
will take care of it for you. Wives ought to do small things, or small gestures that
are very important for your husband. Cooking special meals, preparing his clothes
for work and small gifts and cards when he least expects them.

2) You ought to talk to each other Keeping secrets would not get you anywhere good
with your marriage. Whatever it is that you would wish to discuss to your partner,
do so. If sex is a problem for you, then be open about it. It is only through
talking to each other that you will understand each others needs more.

3) Listen to what he / she will say. Communication does not only involve talking,
you have to listen as well. Talking without listening is not going to help you get
to where you want. Giving each other the opportunity to talk is a good option. Every
single thing that is being brought up should become your guidelines so that the two
of you will learn how to respect your partner’s feelings and points of views.

4) Forgive and forget. Although easier said than done, if you are really interested
in saving your marriage, the couple ought to know how to go on with their lives. Try
not to dwell in the past where mistakes are made. One must learn to accept and
forget all the mistakes that had been done.

5) Advice. Seeking advice from your friends or family is strongly recommended.
Getting one from a counselor is a good option as well. Both husband and wife have to
commit and be devoted to attend sessions. Where they will be able to speak their
thoughts and speak freely.

These are merely only some of the tips that can help save the marriage. Love ought
to always be at hand in order to save the relationship. It is love that would make
all these things a lot easier to do and will aid in saving a marriage that was
predestined to last forever.

How can you save your marriage? Discover the 3 most common mistakes
you must absolutely avoid when you are trying to save your marriage.

http://www.squidoo.com/can_i_save_my_marriage

Along with the development of child support software, other programs have arisen
that can help parents, attorneys and courts come up with an accurate child support
amount. These programs calculate the time-share or the overnight percentage. The
time-share percentage is the amount of time the child spends with each parent. This
is nice figure for quick reference–it is easy for the parents or their lawyer to
know how much time they have with the child at a glance.

It is also an impressive number to show the court. That’s because the time-share
percentage is a pain to calculate. It takes many hours of figuring out and counting.
It’s the same thing with the overnight percentage. The overnight percentage is a
little different from the time-share. It is the number that shows how many nights
the children are spending with each parent. This is also a time consuming and hard
number to calculate.

The time-share and overnight percentage are important though. In almost every state,
one of these numbers is used in determining how much child support is paid and
received. However, because of the difficulty in calculating this number, many
attorneys and courts simply hazard a guess. But that guess turns into a factual
number that has to be paid.

Parents who want to make sure that they aren’t paying more child support than they
have to should do everything they can to get an accurate number. Luckily, other
software programs are out there that allow you to easily get this number. These are
the computer programs that let you create your child custody agreement and schedule.
As you enter your schedule into the program, it constantly shows you the time-share
or overnight percentage.

With the child support software that the states use, you simply enter in different
figures for the required fields. States require different things for their
calculations. The most common numbers asked for are income, rent or house payments,
how much you pay for insurance, how much you pay for the child’s insurance, and the
time or overnight percentage. So, if you have the program that gives you an accurate
percentage, you merely enter that into the other program and you can rest assured
that the amount calculated is correct.

With all the technological advances today it can be most helpful to find computer
programs that allow you to reach the custody agreement that you want. An important
part of your custody agreement is the child support payments. It’s nice to know that
you can now get an exact calculation that you can be sure is an accurate figure.

Learn more about family law software by visiting
http://www.custodyxchange.com/custody/family-law-software.php and find out more
about child support software at
http://www.custodyxchange.com/custody/child-support-software.php