After an infidelity is revealed, the first stage couples can expect to go through is characterized by deep emotional trauma. The spouse who has been cheated-on will typically react with shock, followed by anger and depression. She will wonder whether she really knows her partner at all and what else he has lied to her about. She may feel foolish for not picking up on various clues which make his activities obvious in hindsight. The cheating spouse may feel guilty for causing so much distress. He may be afraid that he’s destroyed what was once a good relationship. For both members of the couple, the security they felt in the marriage is stripped away and their future is uncertain.

After the initial turmoil has subsided, the spouses go through a stage of ambivalence. Both will typically be confused about what to do next. In many cases, there will be good reasons to try to rebuild the marriage, especially if children are involved. However, the betrayed spouse will wonder whether her husband is likely to lie or cheat in the future. The cheating spouse may doubt that his wife will ever trust him again. He may also be unsure that he can control his own impulses. In some cases, he may be torn between attachment to his wife and feelings for another woman.

During the third stage of recovery, most couples will feel ready to discuss the situation in a rational manner. By this point they’ve each had time to calm down and consider their problems individually. Now they need to talk them over with each other. The betrayed spouse will have many questions about the cheater’s motivations. The unfaithful spouse may feel attacked and respond defensively. If any issues remain unresolved, the partners are likely to continue to feel hurt or misunderstood. Sometimes the help of a professional marriage councilor is necessary to overcome communication problems.

The fourth stage is decision time. The couple must choose whether they will commit to saving the marriage, or whether it is impossible under the circumstances. If they do decide that their relationship is worth rebuilding, they will have to agree to work together to deal with what happened and move on. The betrayed spouse must give her husband a second chance, even if she doesn’t think he deserves it. In return, the unfaithful spouse must promise to change his behavior.

In stage five, the partners must work to restore trust. A spouse who’s been cheated on is likely to experience intense feelings of jealousy and a desire to monitor her husband’s every move. This is especially true if, before the discovery of the affair, she raised suspicions which he denied. The cheater, who has now committed to changing his ways, may feel as though he is under surveillance and that his wife is distrustful of everything he tells her.

Sometimes lifestyle changes are necessary to reduce the opportunities for cheating so that the betrayed spouse can start trusting again. If the two partners had independent social lives, they may choose to merge them. They may start to go out with each other instead of separate groups of friends. If the cheating spouse travels for business, he may agree to bring his wife along on future trips. For transparent communications, the couple can decide to share online accounts for email and social networking. When the formerly unfaithful spouse consistently shows a willingness to be open and honest, his partner’s jealousy and insecurity will naturally diminish.

The last of the affair recovery stages is restoration of intimacy. This can only happen after a period of healing has taken place. If the couple have been working on their marriage together, each making concessions toward the other, they will begin to feel like a team. As anger, mistrust and resentment subside, they will once again be able to see the positive sides to the relationship. At this point, they will experience a sense of relief that their marriage has weathered the storm. Feelings of love, affection and companionship will gradually return as the affair is relegated to the past.Similar Posts:

• How To Survive An Affair
• How To Survive Emotional Infidelity in Marriage
• A Quick Guide To Getting Over An Affair
• Getting a Better Understanding About the Types of Affairs
• Why Do Men Cheat?

Why Marriage Counseling Doesn’t Work!

Statistics show that roughly 50% of marriages will end in divorce.  That’s a sad fact, I know, especially when you consider how many other couples are in marriages that they aren’t happy with.

You probably fall into that category right now, but let me tell you, it doesn’t have to end in divorce!

Typically, when one or both parties in the marriage are unhappy, things fall into a downward spiral, and the marriage becomes tougher and tougher to deal with.

You no longer talk; you yell and argue. And if you’re lucky enough to have things “going your way”, maybe you just get the silent treatment.

Deep down, you know what the problems in your marriage really are. And you’ve told your spouse about them. They just don’t seem to understand, or seem to see it your way.

If you have a partner who is actually willing to work to save your marriage, then you’ve probably thought about going through marriage therapy and seeing a counselor.

But before you do that, I want to tell you to STOP!

If your marriage is in crisis, one of the worst things you can do is see a marriage counselor!

I know you’re thinking this must be crazy, but you’re more likely to have your marriage end in divorce than actually stop your divorce from happening. In fact, studies have shown that 75% of couples who see a marriage counselor report being worse off, or even divorced, after they see a counselor!

Stats like that answer the question you had in your head when you started searching for help. No, marriage counseling doesn’t work!

Why doesn’t it work? The answer may not surprise you, particularly if you’ve already been to see a therapist to help fix your marriage. The counselor will get you and your partner into a room, act as a mediator, and get you to focus on all the things that are WRONG with your marriage.

This is counter intuitive, and it doesn’t work! This system of helping your relationship actually gets you to focus on the negatives of your marriage. You’re not pointing out the good that you have built.

Having a counselor present and acting as a “mediator” creates a false sense of security that you can actually say anything to your partner and it will be okay.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.  It actually creates anger and hostility, because it essentially turns into a session of you telling your partner how bad they make you feel. And no one wants to be told that all they do is hurt the one they love.

So the next question you’re asking is “How Do I Save My Marriage?”

We get this one all the time. And this is where we emphasize the difference between “Marriage Counseling” and “Marriage Fitness”.

Marriage Fitness is a system developed my the well known Mort Fertel. Morte is an authority on psychology and relationships, and one of the leading experts teaching couples how to save their marriage and stop their divorce.

In his marriage boot camp, Mort teaches couples to focus on the positives in the relationship, not the negatives. He essentially tells you to put the negatives out of your mind and start focusing and sharing with your spouse what they do great, and what you love about them.

This  is the way to make your partner feel special, feel wanted, and feel like they do have a marriage that’s worth saving. And when your partner begins to share with you things they love about you, things you never knew they appreciated, you too will begin to fall in love all over again.

Marriage fitness boot camp isn’t an overnight process. It takes time to develop. In fact, Fertel suggests that in order to establish the proper foundation and rebuild trust and love, a couple could expect the process to take around 14 weeks!

While that may not be what you were looking for, I can testify that anyone trying to tell you that they can fix your marriage overnight isn’t worth a damn!

At this point, you have a choice. You can leave your marriage, or you can work on it and try to fix it. My guess is since you’re reading this, you’re more interested in ending the marriage crisis you’re in want to bring back the love in your relationship.

By now, I hope you know the difference between Marriage Counseling and Marriage Fitness.  And I hope you don’t make the mistake of finding some online marriage counselor that is just looking for you to send them money.

Go with a proven winner at saving relationships.

If you want to learn more about Mort Fertel and his Marriage Fitness Programs, you can do so by visiting his site and signing up for a FREE Report: “7 Secrets For How To Save A Marriage”.

In addition, you’ll get access to 5 Free Marriage Assessment Quizzes to help you gauge how much help your marriage needs.

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To get your free report from Mort, just click the image below and you’ll be taken directly to his website where you can sign up!

CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW NOW!

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• Saving Your Marriage – Can You Do It?
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This type of infidelity starts up slowly but if left unresolved can even lead to divorce or separation in a marriage. It is really important to identify an emotional affair of your spouse from various warning signs and work on resolving it before its too late.

Many of us go through break ups and heart aches but an emotional affair in marriage is a tough situation to recover from. This is one of the destructive forms of cheating and makes it difficult to build back the trust and confidence between partners in a marriage.

Here are the various Tell-Tale signs of emotional infidelity in a marriage:

Secrecy: This is first warning sign of an emotional affair. If your partner keeps one or a few particular contacts from the opposite sex a secret your relationship may be at stake with risks of an emotional infidelity.

Spending Time With a New Friend or Group
If your spouse looks for chances to spend time with a new friend or a group of friends from the opposite sex this too may indicate towards a possible emotional affair. If your spouse often says he/she is meeting with a new group of friends this may be an excuse to meet with someone he/she is having an emotional affair with.  You should always ask questions to stop this emotional affair take control of your relationship and ruin your marriage.

Emotional Distance in The Relationship
Emotional infidelity can result in your spouse distancing himself/herself from you. If your spouse shows least interest in the marriage , you and kids it is a clear sign that he/she is having an emotional affair outside the marriage.

If you have any kind of doubts about a possible emotional affair of your spouse you should try to find out about it by asking your spouse. You should insist on knowing if anything is wrong as this will get your spouse’s attention and this can save your marriage from emotional infidelity.

Emotional infidelity in marriage is cheating your partner without having a physical relationship outside your marriage. This is dangerous form of marriage infidelity as it results in marriages falling apart and partners looking for separation or divorce. If you have any problems in your married life you should discuss it with your spouse rather than someone else outside the marriage. When you discuss things with yous spouse every marital problem can be worked out and a solution can be arrived at.

Here are some tips to save yourself and your marriage from an emotional affair:

First, you should remind yourself that your marriage is precious and both you and your spouse have spend a lot of good and bad times together. It has taken years of love and passion to build this successful married life and an emotional affair can ruin things almost instantly.

Before thinking about getting into an emotional affair outside your marriage put yourself in the shoes of your spouse. Ask yourself, how would you react if you found that your spouse is discussing matters with someone else from the opposite sex outside your marriage which they should be talking about to you? You would feel betrayed and angry and so you should also stay away from emotional infidelity in marriage to help save your marriage.

If you’ve been cheated on, it is advised to seek the help of an affair recovery expert.

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WE’D LIKE TO KNOW:

As you know, we are always looking to help members of the AdviseCouples.com Community. If you’ve been cheated on, we’d like to interview you and hear your story.  We’d like to know how you suspected the affair, why it happened, what you did, and if you’re still with your partner or not.

If you’d like to share you story, please contact us at Support <at> AdviseCouples <dot>com and we will contact you to set up a telephone interview.

===================Similar Posts:

• The Candid Truth About Affairs
• Emotional Affair: How To Get It Over?
• How To Survive An Affair
• Getting a Better Understanding About the Types of Affairs
• Surviving An Affair: How Can You Learn To Trust Again?

Those who truly understand what happiness is and how it develops are the best guides and parents of little angels on earth that we call children. Raising happy kids is a solemn responsibility and takes a lot of love and care with the right attitude projected to the little darlings.

Kids brought up in a healthy and fun-filled environment tend to be naturally happy. It is what they see, that they perceive. The cordial relationship and warmth amongst family members, respect for elders and most importantly the language spoken amongst them is something that the child notes without being told about. The more positive attitude depicted at home, that much more it imbibes in the kid in a progressive manner.

All kids have a unique quality of doing things their own way. It is up to parents to make them feel worthwhile and appreciate and value their efforts in a constructive manner. Kids beam with self confidence and learn to appreciate the good that they have done. This helps in fostering self esteem and trust in themselves.

Similarly, when they do something wrong, instead of reprimanding them with punishments, it is more advisable to make them reason about the folly on their part. This concept is a tried tested one and builds the reasoning of right over wrong in kids and helps them to grow into happy adults. All kids make mistakes but to properly channel them is the art of raising happy kids.

Kids thrive when they are taught to have an optimistic and positive attitude in life. They are a joy to the beholder with their sunny demeanor and enjoyment of life to its fullest. They learn to appreciate the excitement and flair of anticipating the future with an encouraging approach.

Kids are bubbles of energy and are born with a carefree broad outlook of life. Their energies should be nurtured to enjoy the simple things of life which are so important for their upbringing. It’s true that we need to guide them but merely overemphasizing on a single activity rather than an overall development regime for the kid doesn’t help much. Their abilities should be reared instead of burdening them with our own manifestations of accomplishments. To be able to judge a child’s natural talent and passion in something that he desires to do, and to honor it with enthusiasm too, is a very big step towards a child’s happiness.

The most important thing for kids is the teaching of gratitude in life. Kids who learn this trait enjoy the wonderful experiences of giving wholeheartedly without expectations. The art of sharing with someone else enhances the values of self worth and plentitude in them.

Raising happy kids is an enjoyable venture in which we gain more by giving to them. A happier kid goes into the making of a happier world.Similar Posts:

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• Parent Teacher Conferences – Can You Both Go?

This was pretty alarming to us, so we figured we get to the bottom of this, and come up with 3 ways to to please your man in bed.

At the end of this article, leave a comment and let us know what you think. What would you add?

TEASE YOUR MAN

Just like a woman, men want to be teased. They want to build up to the climax through kissing, touching, licking, caressing and foreplay.

Tell your man how they make you feel, what you want to do to them, what you want them to do to you. Sometimes you have to be the dominate one in the bedroom. Sometimes you have to tell him what to do.

But switch it up. Sometimes you have to be submissive and let him have your way with you. Tell him what you want done to you and have him surprise you.

All of these kinds of talks are very hot and sexy, and build anticipation. And if you have them at random times, not just in the bedroom, it becomes a big tease and a HUGE turn on!

STRIP FOR YOU MAN

I haven’t met a man yet that doesn’t like a woman to strip for him. It’s why men go the strip clubs. It’s the thought and anticipation of what’s going to happen next.

Some woman are afraid to strip because they feel silly. Some think they aren’t attractive enough.

Put an end to all that talk! STRIP!

Your man will love you for it! He thinks you’re plenty attractive, which is why he’s with you. Give him the fantasy of being at a strip club while at home.

Learn how to do it. Rub him, grind him, and when he tries to touch you, move his hand away and tell him “no touching”. He will get totally turned on, and you will have some GREAT sex!

GIVE  HIM THE BEST HAND JOB!

I know what you’re thinking; no man wants a hand job, right? WRONG!

And this is perfect for those women who HATE giving head!

Many women who hate giving head make it such an awkward and uncomfortable experience for a man that he doesn’t even want them to go down on him.

But a hand job is different. If you learn the art of it!

Men think hand jobs feel great, especially when it’s your hand, not theirs! They get an incredible visual experience out of it. They watch your hand gliding up and down there “best friend”, watch your face as you get into it, and you get to watch them enjoy what you’re doing to them.

There are several tips and techniques you can use to give your man the most incredible hand job of his life. The kind of hand job that will have him doing whatever it takes to do ANYTHING to please you in return. And whatever it takes to keep you by his side.

If you want to learn more about giving mind blowing hand jobs, then Oprah Expert Michael Webb is where you need to turn. He’s written a “how to” guide for Hand Job Help.

Just click the link below or the image in this article to learn the best techniques for giving the most unforgettable hand jobs ever! And say good bye to giving head!

Hand Job Help

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