Romantic Relationships: Healthy Vs. Unhealthy

Have you ever had a friend that’s in a relationship and you wish that you could tell him or her to get out as fast as possible? Have you ever been that person? When you’re enmeshed in a relationship that is unhealthy, it’s hard to see it from an outside perspective. Take a look at the characteristics listed below for healthy and unhealthy relationships. Where does your relationship fall?

Who is your priority? People who put their partners’ needs before their own needs are more likely to be in unhealthy relationships. You have to take care of yourself first before you’re able to provide for someone else. Considering your partner’s needs is thoughtful and healthy, but always putting them first is not.

You should be able to be yourself. If you constantly feel the need to change aspects of yourself for your partner, then the relationship may fall into the unhealthy category. For example, feeling like you always need to agree with your partner is unhealthy. You should be able to have your own opinions and be able to share them with your partner without feeling ashamed. A sign of a healthy relationship is two people that can enjoy a conversation in which they disagree about a topic without it turning into a fight.

Control and power are significant factors in relationships. Does one person have more control and power than the other? When the power in the relationship is in the hands of one person, the relationship can become unhealthy, especially if the person with the power uses it to manipulate the other person. Both people should be able to have friends, spend time with family, and take phone calls without justifying it to their partner. A red flag in relationships is isolation. Does your partner isolate you from your close friends and family? If this occurs, you should asses the relationship and determine if it’s worth the cost of your loved ones. Counseling could help the relationship at this point.

What happens when someone makes a mistake? Do you feel like you have to cover up every mistake that you make or can you share this information with your partner? You should be able to make small mistakes without being ridiculed and put down. If you and your partner can laugh when you misstep, your more likely to be in a healthy relationship.

Communication is one of the most important features of a healthy relationship. Feeling heard by your partner increases the happiness in the relationship. Being able to discuss your feelings and needs with your partner is crucial. If you feel that you’re not able to bring up areas of the relationship that you’re unhappy with, then the communication is lacking. This can lead to more serious problems and constant disappointment.

Trust and honesty play a key role in healthy relationships. Lying to your partner is a sign that you’re not able to communicate. Also, lying for your partner can become dangerous for your relationship. Do you tell yourself that your partner had a reason to hit you on Sunday morning? Do you tell your friend that your partner isn’t really flirting with the waitress when she confronts you about his behavior at the bar? Be honest with yourself. If you don’t seek the truth, then there is no way to fix the errors in the relationship.

Are you able to talk openly about sex? This is a topic that many people overlook when in a relationship, because it can be uncomfortable to discuss. However, you should be able to discuss it if you’re sexually active. Do you fear asking your partner to use protection? Did he/she hide things about his/her sexual background? A healthy relationship consists of honest communication around sex. You should also be able to talk about what you like and don’t like in the bedroom.

Two signs of an unhealthy relationship that no one should overlook are when one partner physically abuses the other partner or forces his/her partner to engage in sex. There are resources for people involved in violent relationships. Seeking the advice of a professional should be the first step if you’re the victim of domestic violence. If you want to talk to someone anonymously you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) twenty-four hours a day.

If find that you’re relationship is unhealthy or is becoming unhealthy, you have a few options. You can end the relationship and look for a relationship with someone who will treat you with respect. You can engage in couples counseling and attempt to fix the unhealthy aspects of the relationship, or you can work on the unhealthy parts of the relationship without a professional.