The “love of your life” has just walked out. You know that things between you could
be resolved, if he/she would just take some time to listen. But, they never seem
available, and you’re not sure how to handle the situation. You don’t want to drive
this special person further away. Should you phone? Should you write a letter?
It’s a big decision to make.

You feel confident that if he/she would just call back, it could give you the
opening you need. And of course, at this time, nothing is more important than being
sincere. It may mean working on your own feelings, and resolving any anger that may
be hanging on. Relationships are never simple, and when you find that special one,
you want to do what’s right.

Establishing a rapport with your ex, when you’re not on good talking terms, can be
really hard. How do you find the right words to say? Or what message can you leave
that will encourage them to call you back. It’s definitely the #1 question we get
from all our subscribers. It’s one that can cause so much heartache, but we do have
some ideas that may help, ones that you might use to get that phone call.

It’s important that you understand that this is just one piece of the puzzle, and
don’t go leaping off into space without a safety net. It’s imperative that you
have a plan in place, so you don’t end up doing more damage to your relationship
than if they had never called back at all. A book called The Magic of Making Up
will give you a lot of help in this area.

Some things are best left unsaid!

First of all, no pleading or begging. If you sound desperate, you’ll lose your
edge. It’s important to keep a light, casual tone. Second, don’t cry wolf. If you
try to fake an emergency, when there is none, you’ll lose your credibility, and
that’s like taking 10 steps backward. Remember what I said about sincerity. It is
definitely the most important thing you can do. If you are honest, and speak from
your heart, that truth will carry through, enabling them to really hear what you’re
saying.

Appeal to Their Self Image

The magic is to arouse their curiosity, and at the same time, appeal to their
self-interest. Did you have a fight? One of the ways you may be able to soothe
things over is to leave her/him a message requesting a call-back so you can tell
them thank you. Don’t give out any extra information, just that you want to be able
to thank them personally. We all like to be flattered now and then.

They’ll have to call back to find out what they’ve done that you’re grateful for,
and they’ll also feel good about themselves due to the positive message. And with
the curiosity and the self-interest working together, you’ll have a magic formula.
Again, just be sure you have a game plan in place before you make that phone call.
It must be sincere and credible.

If there is nothing she/he has done recently that warrants the call, think about
what you have gained from knowing her/him, and how the relationship has helped you
grow. This can give you an opening for a wonderful conversation.

And next, you’ll need a plan. It’s important to understand this part BEFORE you
make that first call. You don’t want to be applying this technique without knowing
beforehand what your next step will be, or you could end up doing more damage than
good when they do call back. What is most important is what you do before and after
you talk to them, so you always leave a good impression.

Sandie Sudberry
Email: GetTheMagicBack@gmail.com
Click on my website for more info:
http://www.GetTheMagicBack.comSimilar Posts:

• Who Is Using Call Capture And Why?
• How to Get Back Together With My Ex In 3 Simple Steps
• Why Men Don’t Call Back
• When to Call After a Date
• 5 Guaranteed Ways To Get Your Ex Back And Madly In Love With You

In many therapies, there is a differentiation between what
is the _trigger_ for a specific emotion and what is the
_source_. I think that when it comes to raising kids,
their behavior (or the lack of it) is the trigger, and our
own doubt and fear is the actual source. Let’s look at some
situations that seemingly trigger angry outbursts from us
to our children and let’s work to discover what the
underlying fears might be.

You become angry when your children don’t obey you, or when
they fall short of what you expect from them. You become
frustrated. This is because you don’t know enough about
how to effectively manage their behavior. Pre-school
teachers and grade school teachers have learned these
skills and thus don’t experience the anger you do. You
would be helped if you took some parenting classes; read
parenting books; join parenting groups.

Adults who understanding behavior management in children
know that there must be consequences for errant behavior.
It is most helpful if you will arrive at the decision you
frequently arrive at currently after idle threats: you
REALLY MEAN what you say. It is this determination that
you mean what you say that communicates over to your child
and they quickly learn not to avoid your wishes, wants and
desires. If you couple “meaning” along with “consequences”
your child will be well served through this determination.

As your days roll along, please consider if you are getting
angry due to any of these reasons:

- You feel you have no freedom in your life because you
have children

- Your kids are tapping you out financially and you’re
frustrated because you feel trapped in your job

- Long days are wearing you down physically

- You have a sense of “I don’t want to deal with it now”

- Your kids whine to get your attention

- Your kids tug at you because you aren’t listening to them

- Your kids fight among themselves

You must seek help to find a way to deal with these things.
A therapist might be just the ticket. Your parents may
have good advice. Perhaps a minister could help. Whatever
it is, don’t allow your anger over these things to
continuously spill over at your children. You need
professional, or at a minimum, mature help to find a better
way if you identified with any of the items on the above
list. Listen to music away from the kids. Take some deep
breaths. Call a friend. Then spend a few moments
reconnecting with your child. Don’t let the anger get
between you. Your kid deserves your loving communication
and so do you.
—————————————————-
In his book “Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents,”
Len Stauffenger shares with you the simple wisdom gleaned
from his divorce and from the raising of his daughters. Len
is a Success Coach and an Attorney. His is a heartfelt,
visionary story of the success at the end of his divorce
journey. You can purchase Len’s book and it’s accompanying
workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.comSimilar Posts:

• Your Child Custody Schedule: An Important Part of the Custody Agreement
• Child Custody Laws: What You Need to Know About Visitation
• Never Make Your Child Choose Which Parent He Likes Best
• Parent Teacher Conferences – Can You Both Go?
• Raising Happy Kids