Advice for Couples » recover from an affair

Stop An Affair: How Can You Do It?

admin — Tue, 18 May 2010 01:56:30 +0000

Are you married and been tempted to have an affair? Maybe you felt your spouse did not love you any more. Maybe you were no longer in love with your spouse. The trouble is, once you start one, how do you stop an affair?

Of course, it goes without saying that having an affair can cause big problems. You can avoid some of those, however, by choosing the person you have it with wisely. Make sure you know the person well enough that you are fairly sure that they are mentally balanced and will not threaten to tell your spouse later on.

As always, honesty is the best policy. That may seem like unusual advice when talking about cheating. But if you are straightforward with each other in the beginning, it can avoid a lot of drama later. If you have no intention of leaving your spouse, for example, do not pretend that you do.

When you do want to end it, try to be honest as well. But it is a good idea not to make it the fault of the other person. You do not want to make the person feel defensive. Even if it is their fault in your mind, saying so is only going to make them feel like lashing out. This could have far bigger repercussions.

If you are going to be honest, with the partner and yourself, you need to be clear about why you are getting involved in an affair to begin with. This can help you to be equally clear when you are breaking it off. Of course, even if you put the blame on yourself, there is still a chance that the other person will be upset enough to tell your spouse about the affair. If this happens, you are best off coming clean and admitting it.

As you do so, think about the outcome you really want to achieve. If you want to split up, use this as a way to make it happen. It will not do either of you any good if you try to prolong your marriage out of guilt.

If you want to stop an affair, try to be as direct as possible. Be as honest as you can but do not make the other person feel bad about the affair or themselves. This is your opportunity to get every aspect of your life back to one of which you can be proud.Similar Posts:

Surviving An Affair: How Can You Learn To Trust Again?

admin — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 16:12:15 +0000

Surviving an affair is not easy. Major trust has been violated, and it can be difficult to ever regain. The person who cheated rarely knows the extent of the emotional damage they have caused. The person who has been cheated on is unsure of how to communicate their feelings.

How Do You Put Your Life Back Together After An Affair?

Well, you can’t do it alone. You ultimately have to have someone to turn to, or at least someone who can help you cope. You’re filled with many questions, and you’re afraid to get the answers, unsure of what they might be. You want to know the real reason “why” this has happened. You keep blaming yourself and wonder what you could have done differently to prevent the affair.

You have to learn to manage your emotions. You can either see a marriage counselor or some other professional, or there are many good tools available on the internet. If you don’t know how to manage these emotions, you can prevent yourself from ever being happy in this or any other relationship.

Understanding how affairs start is huge. Ultimately, it’s not your fault. The cheating partner is the one who made the choice to violate the bond of trust between you. However, understanding how affairs start can certainly help you prevent a future affair from happening.

Their are different types of affairs, and people cheat for different reasons. There is no one answer. So when you’re looking on the internet, don’t be fooled by a page that tells you there is one cure all. Your situation is different, and you need someone who has seen many cases to truly understand how you feel.

The biggest step in surviving an affair is learning to trust again. You really need help with this. It’s not a simple task, and it is an ongoing process for the rest of your life. You will have times where you begin to question your trust of your partner. You both need to be aware this will happen, and you need some advice on how to handle these types of situations.

Surviving an affair is not easy. A major trust has been broken, and you need time and tools to help you recover from infidelity. You can pay thousands of dollars to a therapist to help you recover, or you can search the Internet for some good advice.

There is a short video to help you survive infidelity. All you have to do is click the link below to help you recover from an affair.

Surviving An Affair

Click Link Above

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Why Do Men Cheat?

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 10:30:13 +0000

All too often in today’s world, people cheat. By this I am talking about relationships. Women cheat. Men cheat. I’ll grant you, more men cheat than women. Someone once told me that “Women need a reason to cheat, men just need a place.” But, surely there must be more to it than that. So, let’s ask a question, “Why do men cheat?”

I’m sure we can discuss a variety of reasons. After all, no two relationships are exactly alike. However, let’s think about it. The only reason to go shopping is because we need something. You wouldn’t go buy milk if you had a gallon or two in the refrigerator. You wouldn’t try to put gas in a full tank. So, what is missing that a man feels he needs to “go shopping” for?

To answer this, let’s work backwards. What does the man receive in the second relationship? To say sex is too easy, though not to be dismissed. What did that other woman provide that his spouse, perhaps, did not?

Certainly, women are pretty. And, that can be slightly distracting. It is kind of hard to ignore the elephant in the living room. But, there is a difference between looking at a painting in a museum and taking it home. So, what happens? Why do men cheat?

Imagine, if you will, a man’s ego as a hot air balloon. A hot air balloon is HUGE! When filled with enough hot air, it actually flies and is capable of carrying people great distances. Yet, it is very fragile. One hold in the shell will cause a loss of pressure by letting the hot air escape. With a loss of air, the balloon will fall. So, what puts a hole in the male ego?

Well, it’s not hard. Almost anything will do. If he does not feel attractive or admired, that will put a pretty big hole in it. If he does not feel appreciated for his efforts, that would do it too. If he does not feel understood, or that anyone cares enough to try to understand, that will certainly do the trick.

So, what does another woman do that tempts men to stray? She patches a hole, or adds more hot air, or both. She might just tell a man, “Wow! Nice suit. You look great today.” That might be something he has not heard for a long time. If he has put effort into his appearance and has not gotten any positive feedback, he will be susceptible to any praise. He will probably give more effort to being nice and generous to those who tell him, or show him how much they appreciate his efforts. A man likes to feel he can be a protector and provider. So, if he takes your car out to get the oil changed, Thank Him! It may seem simple, but it helps him maintain that ego in the air. But, let’s talk about “understanding” for a moment.

Men are raised to be stoic figures. They are supposed to be tough and without feelings. What a crock! Men have feelings. Sometimes they get hurt. Sometimes we need people to talk to. The guys at the bar might understand. But, wouldn’t it be nice if he trusted you, as his spouse, to confide in you, to ask your input and support? If all you offer to his concerns are nagging criticisms, you can bet he will find that support elsewhere. Why would you continue to buy milk from the store that sells spoiled milk? Wouldn’t you try another store?

Men cheat. Women cheat. Half of the marriages today fail. On the other hand, half succeed! No marriage is without challenges. After all, this is a union of two individuals with different needs. How they treat the differences and each other will help them succeed. While this has been an interesting discussion of Why Men Cheat, I realize that it may sound as though I am blaming women. I am not. Men need to be more open to their spouses, and express their needs. Further, when men stray, they have made a choice. And, with every choice, there are personal responsibilities and consequences for that decision. For those that stray, I say, “shame!” But, let these words serve as an opinion as to why men cheat.

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